The Drop
BDFL Week 4
Winless TERMINABERS end First Down Syndrome's perfect season
0-6 beat 6-0 by 21.95. Zay Flowers (35.8) and Malik Nabers (31.2) did the damage, and First Down Syndrome also missed the top half by 0.85, turning one bad Sunday into two losses. The editor would like to stress that he is a neutral observer and this is the biggest story in the history of sport.
Last week's horoscope said light a candle. It worked.
Week 5: TERMINABERS (2-6) at TTT (6-2). The basement visits the penthouse. Vegas, burned once, is taking bets again.
pick your team
Raw
arrows = moves since Week 3
playoff line. velvet rope. no entry.
148.73 or bust
Top score of the week.
Karma, paid in full.
Skid over.
Above the median. Framing this.
Last one in, by 0.85.
0.43 under. The curse moved.
49 points on the bench.
Most points this season. Sat below anyway.
Three QBs. Started the wrong one.
Started a zero.
All ten scores this week. Nobody gets to plead the Fifth.
all five bouts
Miracle
def. First Down Syndrome by 21.95
170.25 to 148.30. The 0-6 team beat the 6-0 team. Zay Flowers went for 35.8, Malik Nabers added 31.2, and two of our three Giants finally showed up. Jared Goff (29.6) and Chuba Hubbard (28.9) kept it close until DJ Moore's 3.7 didn't. Larry's theory worked. Nobody is more surprised than Larry.
Flowers 35.8, Nabers 31.2. Goff 29.6 in defeat.
Photo finish
def. Bidet Boys by 2.3
TTT won by 2.3 while Carnell Tate (32.5) and Emanuel Wilson (30) watched from the bench. Dak Prescott led the way with 25.45. Bidet Boys got 39.7 from Tee Higgins and 36.3 from Javonte Williams, then left 49 points on their own bench. TTT takes first place. Bidet Boys take the police blotter.
Higgins 39.7 in defeat. Tate 32.5, benched and unbothered.
KO
def. Red(zone) Rockets by 67.35
CeeDee Lamb scored 60.3, more than five times what Rashee Rice, Dalton Kincaid, and Jakobi Meyers managed combined. Bijan Robinson added 30.7. Drake Maye put up 34.85 on the bench and nobody even noticed. Chase Brown's 30.1 was the only good news in the Rockets' third straight loss.
Lamb 60.3, Bijan 30.7. Rice 0.
Streak over
def. Sacks & Muffs by 42.55
Tetairoa McMillan scored 61.2, the best single number in the league this week, and the three-game skid is over. Sacks & Muffs started the right quarterback this time, and Bryce Young delivered 30.75. They lost by 42.55 anyway, with Kenyon Sadiq scoring zero in the lineup. Some weeks you just can't win.
McMillan 61.2. Young 30.75, for once.
Surgery
def. jerryjonesmonies by 75.5
208.45 to 132.95, the top score and biggest margin of the week. Kyren Williams 46.7, Nico Collins 39.8, Puka Nacua 38.7, Sam LaPorta 30.4, and a Ladd McConkey zero that didn't matter at all. jerryjonesmonies owns three quarterbacks and started the one who scored the least. Joe Burrow had 33 on the bench.
Kyren 46.7, Collins 39.8. Kamara 27.8 in defeat.
tap a card to flip it
team of the week!
208.45 points, most in the league
Father-son operation, and Dad is a surgeon in his first fantasy season. This week he scrubbed in: Kyren Williams 46.7, Nico Collins 39.8, Puka Nacua 38.7, Sam LaPorta 30.4. Top score of the week, biggest win of the week, and they did it with a zero in the lineup. Off the tightrope and up to fourth.
weekly lowlights
Guilty
Dethroned
Ghosted
still not legally binding
TTT
You're in first place by a coin flip and a median cushion of 0.85. Next up is TERMINABERS, who just learned how to win and will not shut up about it. Consider starting Carnell Tate.
First Down Syndrome
Six wins, then two losses in one afternoon. jerryjonesmonies is next, which the stars describe as a soft landing. Start Allgeier. Trust the stars this time.
Sacks & Muffs
You ignored our advice, started Bryce Young, got 30.75, and lost by 42.55 anyway. The stars have nothing further. bhitt24 is next, 5-3 against 5-3.
bhitt24
Off the tightrope and up to fourth. Sacks & Muffs is next. Maybe start a receiver who scores more than zero, just to see what it feels like.
Colorado Bulldogs
Karma paid you back with interest. Bidet Boys are next. Keep the receipt anyway. Karma has a return policy.
Bidet Boys
Your bench outscored your margin of defeat by 46.7. The Bulldogs are next. The stars suggest reading your own bench before kickoff.
Red(zone) Rockets
Three straight losses and a zero in the lineup. 21 inches soft is next and suddenly confident. Check every starter before Sunday. Every single one.
21 inches soft
The slide is over, and it ended in style. The Rockets are next, and they're desperate. Desperate is dangerous. So is 61.2.
jerryjonesmonies
You own three quarterbacks. The stars suggest starting the one who scores the most. The stars admit this is hard to know in advance. First Down Syndrome is next, and they are angry.
TERMINABERS
You won. Do not get comfortable. Next up is TTT, the new first-place team. Larry already has a theory. Lucky number: 35.8.
rates negotiable
For saleTwo quarterbacks, lightly used, both outscored the starter. Joe Burrow (33) and Brock Purdy (25.8). Serious offers only. jerryjonesmonies.
LostOne perfect season, last seen Sunday afternoon. Answers to 6-0. Contact First Down Syndrome.
Help wantedSomeone to read our bench before kickoff. Must be able to tell 27.6 from 6.1. Bidet Boys.
Free to good homeOne (1) Rashee Rice start, 0.0 points, still in original packaging. Red(zone) Rockets.
Public noticeThe 0.43 curse has left Sacks & Muffs and moved in with First Down Syndrome. Next host unknown. Check your median.
ServicesLineup consulting from the 2-6 team that beat the 6-0 team. Rates are high. We are insufferable now. TERMINABERS.